Today Was Almost Perfect

He makes me so happy.

I spent the night at Dennis' last night and I went to work at the barn this morning around 8:30a.  We had to take out the horses after feeding them and clean the stalls.  Afterward, the owner took me out to breakfast, her treat!  I thought that was very nice of her.  When we came back from breakfast, a horse was out!  It was just the pony.  We think that he had to of broken the chain on his pasture gate.  Also, while taking the horses out, one of them was horrible.  His name is Spitfire, but we call him Spitty.  He tried rearing and was pushy and tugging.  He had no manners!  When the barn owner' husband called, she told him I handled this horse better than the current barn help!  After leaving the barn, I went home and took a shower.  Then, I went back to Dennis'.

When I got to Dennis', he was sleeping.  I let him sleep because he definitely needed his rest.  I went in the other room and talked with his mom.  I love his mom!  When he woke up, he got a shower and we went to a local pizzeria and ordered food.  We then took the food to the pier and ate near the water.  When we were done eating we walked out onto the pier and sat for awhile.  We tried to skip some stones, but they weren't working all that well.  We then went back to his house and hung out for a bit.

We eventually decided that we would go to the movies because I had a lot of the movie passes.  We went to see Grown Ups.  It was alright, but I was expecting something a little more comedic.  It had Adam Sandler, and I love his movies.  But, like I said, I wasn't completely impressed with this one.  We went to Tops to get some snacks and drinks to take with us because the movie theater snacks are so expensive.  Dennis got some beef jerky and an Arnold Palmer.  I got some dried fruit and an Arnold Palmer.

We went back to Tops after the movie to see L and get my free Sunday coupons out of the Buffalo Newspaper.  Yes, I am like an old lady because I love to cut coupons.  We each got a coffee and I ended up helping someone jumpstart their car with my jumper cables.  We stayed for a bit, then came back to Dennis' house.  I cut my coupons while he was on his computer.  He has work tomorrow, so he has to get his sleep.

I'm so proud of Dennis.  He now has 2-3 people hired for this job.  He is becoming the man in charge on the site!  That's amazing.  He's too hard on himself.  Today was so amazing.  I really do love spending time with him.  I would be happy if I could just sit in his room with him, anything with him.  I'm still kind of fearful.  I love him so much, and I really want to marry this man.  But, with my commitment issues, it's all so terrifying.  I'm not too sure what to do about that yet, I think I'm going to just take it one day at a time.  Maybe just enjoy what I have.

All I know is that I'm in love.  And, I don't want it to ever end.

Good night.

I Just Can't Stop Smiling

I'm in such a great mood, everything's going my way!

This morning I went to the barn at 8:30a and I shoveled shit again for the first time in a long, long while.  I'm so excited to have this job now.  I'll still work at the grocery store, but it's definately great to have the barn as a job again.

I have work tonight 9p-1a.  Afterwards, Dennis and I may go graduation party hopping.  We shall see about that.

Last night was amazing.  I long so badly for a kiss from Dennis.  I'm not sure what it is, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with the closeness I felt last night.  It was as if we had sex or something.  For some reason, I feel like that chemical was released without the orgasm.  Whatever.  I know too much.  I can't wait to see him.  The first thing I'm going to do is give him a huge kiss!  I hope I'm not setting myself up for a hard downfall.  I can see myself really falling hard for this man and I'm really hoping that falling this hard isn't going to be something that will in the end be something that I'll regret.

But, for now, I shall just enjoy the feeling I have right now.  I'm in love.

I Don't Think I've Ever Been So Happy

Today was so amazing.

Last night I slept over at Dennis' and made him and his mom homemade home fries in the morning.  We went to a work picnic with mom and my sister this afternoon.  It was so fun.  We ate a lot of food.  I went to the new barn around 5p and it was amazing!  I'm going back in the morning around 8:30a.  When I came back to the picnic, Dennis was talking nerd to another guy.  It was so cute, I love him.  This guy could be Dennis' big connection.

After the picnic, Dennis and I went back to his house.  We sat out on the porch with his dad and mom.  I love talking to his mom, we talk about everything!  His parents are so nice.  We hung out there for a bit and then met my cousin, Andrea, at her work around 10p. 

All three of us went to the Sanborn Field Days.  We sat and listened to the band while watching all the people dance while drunk.  It was very entertaining. 

I can't believe how this night turned out.  Dennis and I hit a great point in my eyes.  I know that I could always tell him everything and anything, but somethings are hard to say.  I get terrified of the future.  Saying what terrifies me is hard.  But, on the way home from the Field Days, I told him something that really terrified me.  Yes, it was something very small, but it was terrifing for me.  I have just never felt like this.  I really am in love with this man, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.  He makes me so happy, and I'd love to spend the rest of all time making him happy.

No words could ever describe how I feel right now.  But, I need my sleep so that I am able to wake up for the barn tomorrow morning.

Good night.

I Can't Wait Until I See Him Again

Pathetic, I know.  But, I just can't wait until I can see him again, I love him so.

I didn't have work today, so Tricia and I went over to a family friends' and swam in the pool.  We stayed and talked for awhile.  I love hanging out with her again.  They ordered pizza and wings, but because they ordered just pepperoni and cheese, I couldn't eat any.  So, I went home for dinner.

After I was done eating, I loaded all of Dennis' painting stuff and took it over to his house.  He was asleep when I got there so I just watched Mythbusters on his television, and let him sleep.  Eventually I woke him up and we hung out.  I tried on a new pair of pants I had gotten from the family friend and he loved them!  This blow in insulation job makes me really nervous, but I refuse to hold him back in what makes him happy.  He invited me to sleep over, but I knew if I did he wouldn't get good enough sleep to be able to work properly tomorrow.  So, I declined.  When I was leaving he told me he wished I could sleep over and I so badly wanted to break down and say yes, I'll sleep over.  But, I can't be that selfish.  I am so in love.

Nicole, from work, called and asked if I could work for her tomorrow 4p-8p.  I said I would.  I only have to watch her trainees go live for the first time.  It's super easy.  Basically, I watch them work and if they need my help, help.  I'm going to decide tomorrow if I want her to take my Friday shift 9p-1a.  Friday I have the family picnic and also the barn.

I am just so happy right now.  I know it seems soon, and maybe it's just the happiness, but I just want to spend every possible moment with this man.  He makes me so completely happy.  No one has ever made me feel so absolutely high.  I'm so in love.

I Can't Believe It!

Today was unbelievable.

I picked Dennis up and he was so excited!  This job seems to be making him so happy already.  He kept telling me all the nice things about this job and everything on the way home.  He said he was hired on the spot and he starts July 5th.  He had mentioned that he now just needs to find some way to make money until then.  We got back to his house and the guy who offered the blow in insulation job called!  He now has a job tomorrow with this guy.  What are the odds?

Not only did Dennis get that call, but I recieved a call as well.  I had stopped by a barn with a sign near the road for help wanted and stalls for rent.  I talked to the guy for awhile and left my name and number.  He didn't seem to need help then, and hadn't called me back, so I figured that I could forget about it.  The guy called while I was laying in Dennis' bed!  He wants me to stop by between 5-5:30p on Friday.  I am going to talk to his wife and we shall see how it goes.

Not only did we both get great phone calls, but work went amazingly well.  Tonight Tuesday In The Park happened.  Usually, because of this concert, work is very obnoxious and busy.  Tonight however, it was very slow and quiet.  And, I worked with L. 

I definately feel as though the universe is aligned today.  I am so completely happy.

But, I am tired.  So, good night.

I Love Life

I am so happy right now!

I took Dennis to his orientation today.  I'm so excited for him!  We stopped to get gas on the way and he was so thoughtful.  He got me a coolatta when he got his coffee.  While waiting for Dennis to get ready I was talking to his mom.  She is such a sweetheart, I absolutely love her!  To make things even better, it's raining out!  I love the rain so much.

The fact that I have to work later kind of sucks, and my sister is pissing me off as well.  But, I'm not going to let those things bring me down out of this naturally wonderful high I'm in right now!

I can't wait to pick up Dennis and ask how his orientation went!  I am so in love!

Basically The Rest Of The Day Was Horrible

Work was an absolute nightmare!

Well, the collage is almost done.  I just have a few more things to touch up and we shall see if I think it's good enough to send in then.  Dennis helped me by giving me his opinion when I asked what he thought of it.  I absolutely love that man!

Dinner was horrible.  Mom made ham steaks, fried potatoes, and peas.  It was supposed to be corn, but it wasn't.  Now don't get me wrong, I love peas but I love corn more.  Icouldn't eat the ham because I'm a vegetarian, Icouldn't eat the peas because % didn't have time, and I got to eat some potatoes but had to rush in eating them.  I couldn't even enjoy dinner.

On the way to work I started feeling really sick again.  All throughout work I felt terrible.  I really felt like I was going to pass out.  I couldn't even keep my balance while standing at my register!  I worked with M today and we had to catch up because we haven't worked together in so long.  I felt so slow tonight.  It took us forever to close down and finish everrything.  To make matters worse, when I came home from work my sister was still up.

Now if you don't already know, after work is my time.  Everyone is always in bed sleeping by the time I get home.  Therefore, it is my time to just relax without either of them bothering me.  nNow that my sister is out of school I believe I am going to slowly lose my mind.

Tomorrow I am taking Dennis to his orientation at the debt collection agency.  I'm so excited for him.  He really is the sweetest guy ever!  The place is in amherst and because it's such a far drive Dennis said he was going to go through the whole phonebook and call all of the computer shops nearby to make it easier for me.  How thoughtful of him.  I really don't mind to be honest with you.  I would do absolutely anything for him. I'd kill for his happiness and fight for his love, which ever pleases him most.

Well, I'd better get to bed so I can wake up in time to take Dennis.

Good night.

I Wish I Felt Better Already!

I still feel like shit.

The graduation party was pretty fun.  After, we had a small bon fire at my friends' lake cottage.  No offense, but I was kind of disappointed with it.  I was expecting a nice bon fire that would be lots of fun and we'd all joke around while sitting around the fire.  No one sat around the fire except Dennis and I.  Most of the people sat around a table on the deck and played cards.  Yes, cards are fun, but if you're going to have a fire, then you should enjoy the fire.  Since I wasn't too pleased with the fire at the cottage, I had a small fire at my house afterwards. 

The fire at my house just consisted of Dennis and I.  That's all we needed.  It was so fun.  I felt bad because it was Father's Day and Dennis didn't really spend any time with his dad, so we went back to his house for a bit to give them a chance to hang out.  Afterwards, we came back to my house and the fire with marshmallows!  We made popcorn and ate cherries. 

I had a doctor appoitment today.  I'm not sure how I feel about this doctor.  She seems like a very nice person, but it just feels kind of awkward talking to her.  I've been trying, but I'm not too sure that it's working out.

I have to work today at 7:30p and I'm really not feeling that well.  I'm hoping I feel better by then.  I'm not sure what's wrong with me.  I just hope that it goes away soon because I can't deal with this.  If tonight goes bad, I may just freak on a customer.

I'm almost done with my collage.  I've been trying to de-pixelate the image.  I really hope I get it done in time, it has to be in by the end of the month.  We shall see.

That's pretty much all.

Wow, My Friends Are Insane!

I love my friends!

Yesterday I didn't have to work, so my friend Tricia and I went shopping yesterday.  It was insane!  My stomach hurt so bad just from laughing.  We went to the mall and then ate at Applebee's.  After we ate, we went to Walmart, then the other mall, and then to the Super Walmart.  I bought a new journal and a candle for Dennis.  I can't wait to give him the candle!  It's the same scent as the one I had that he said he loved.

I'm not too sure what's wrong with me.  This whole week has been horrible for me.  I think maybe I'm just dehydrated, I'm not sure.  I'm going to try to drink more water and see how it goes.

I'm so excited!  Today is my friends graduation party.  I haven't seen all these people in so long, I really miss them all.  I'm trying to contact my friend to see if I can bring Dennis, I hope I can.  We shall see.

Well, I've got to get going.

A Little Better, Well, Maybe A Lot Better.

I think I'm offically happy again.

Last night really pissed me off, but this morning made up for it.  Dennis asked if I was mad at him and I just replied with "How much do I mean to you?".  Obviously, to him, this came out of nowhere.  If you don't already know, in highschool we were very, very different.  We would never be seen talking, let alone dating.  Our relationship could cause a lot of negative criticism.  And, that's completely understandable to me.  Because of this, Dennis wasn't exactly the most excited person to tell everyone.  So, I told him how it made me feel.  He told me that he loves me and that I can tell whomever I want.  I just don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.  So, to say the least, I'm going to take it slow.  No posting it on my Facebook wall or anything.

Dennis went out Father's Day shopping.  He told me he got a new job at a debt collection's agency.  The guy with the blow in insulation wasn't very reliable.  I'm so happy that he now has a steady job.  Yeah, it's not that great of pay, but that's because he's just starting off.  It will get better the longer he works there.  Not to mention that he's a computer guy and they don't have a computer tech at the moment.

After Dennis gets home from shopping, I'm thinking of going over and hanging out at his house.  I don't work until 6p.  I have a shit shift today, but amazingly I'm alright with that.  I work 6p-11p.  I just really don't feel like staying tonight.

I most definately am in love.
<3

Wow, Just Wow.

I'm not even sure how I should feel right now.

I had such a productive day.  I painted a little bit more of my room, I picked the guitar for a bit, I went to work with L, and then to Denny's after. 

Dennis, L, and I were all going to hang out at Denny's after L and I got out of work at 1a.  It didn't happen.  L and I still went, but Dennis didn't.  He ended up hanging out with some friends at Niagara Falls.  He forgot.  After Denny's, I went over to his house because he felt bad and wanted to see me.  He fucking slept the whole time I was there!  I ended up just leaving and coming home.  I'm still very pissed and disappointed.  I really wanted the three of us to hang out.  L and I decided that once a month all the closers are going to go to Denny's to hang out and have fun.

Work wasn't all that bad.  I really don't know what's wrong with me.  My arms feel like rubber and don't seem to want to work, I get hot flashes and chills, I feel sick to my stomach, and even get light headed at times.  I'm sick of it!

I think I just need to go to bed.  Maybe tomorrow will end better.  We shall see.

Ugh, I'm Not Sure How To Fix This

I feel like shit.  I have for about five days or so.

Last night was amazing.  I spent the night with Dennis.  I really, truly love that we can talk so freely with eachother.  When we have a conversation, it is an indepth conversation that lasts.  We just switch from topic to topic without any akward moments.  I feel so comfortable with him.  He told me that he thinks I should try to get another chance to ride because he said I was glowing when he saw me ride Dante.  This means more than I can say.  Him telling me that he noticed this about me while I was riding shows me he really does care and pay attention.  I've never been shown that someone really pays attention to my interests like that.  Not only did we talk about that, but we talked about my friends.  My friends are a huge part in my life, and the last thing I want is my boyfriend and friends not getting along.  As you can probably tell, both my friends and boyfriend getting along means a lot to me.  He's met all the people that I work with and they love him and he loves them!  Last night was just so amazing.  I'm so in love!

Today I woke up and actually felt fine.  I had taken a shift for P on USCAN from 9p to 1a.  I worked with M and it went by really fast!  By the time we made the ten minute call it seemed like we had only been there for only an hour or two!  I felt fine all day until about and hour before work.  That's when I started feeling horrible again.

I have been feeling horrible for about five days now.  I get very sick to my stomach, somewhat light headed, my limbs feel like rubber and/or numb sometimes, I get hot flashes, I also get sudden chills.  I'm not too sure what all of this is from.  I feel this way before I pass out sometimes.  I hope everything's alright.

Today, after I came home from Dennis', I dyed my hair.  I'm still not sure how I feel about it.  I'm thinking that it's probably because it is still freshly dyed, so it hasn't had time to fade at all, and because I let my roots get so bad this time.  I sent a picture to Dennis and he said that he liked it.  So, I'm guessing it can't look too bad.

After I dyed my hair, a friend and I went to a family friends' to go swimming.  It was so fun, but it started raining so it got cold fast.  After we decided to get out of the pool, we went out to eat at Chili's.  I had a cup of New England Clam Chowder and Hot Spinach & Artichoke Dip.  I love the dip, and the soup was amazingly delicious today.  My friend had a Chicken Caesar Salad and Chips With Salsa.  After we got done eating was when I started to not feel good.  So, when I got home I laid down for about a half of an hour to an hour.  It didn't help much.

Right now, I'm watching Dr. G:Medical Examiner.  I absolutely love this show.  After, it is off to bed for me.  Maybe I might even do some more writing before I go to bed.  We shall see.

Good night.

Just Call Me A Slacker

Yeah, I know I'm slacking.

I was going to finish painting my room yesterday, but it didn't happen.  I was just way too tired.  I might try to do some of it tomorrow, I really want it done.  I think I'm just too lazy.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll try to at least do a little bit of it today before work.  We'll see.

Best Buy called, so I went to pick it up today.  Maybe I can drop it off to Dennis after work, or something.  I'm just leaving it in my car for now.  There isn't really anything I can do with it until he puts Windows onto it. 

Basically, it's been a shitty two days.  I just haven't really had too much to write about.  I've been horribly tired and, for some reason, not feeling too well.  I'm not sure what it is.  I think I need more caffeine.

Oh!  One thing that is just absolutely excellent and exciting.  Dennis got a new job!  He now works with blow in insolation.  It pays $15/hr.  Now, this doesn't mean he won't have time to do the computer work, so still keep him in mind if your computer decides it hates you.  Just visit http://k0p.net/ and he will be able to fix it for you right before your very eyes.  No need to drop it off anywhere.  It's completely remote repair, done through the internet.  You can even chat with him realtime while he's fixing your computer!

For now, that is all.

I Should Have Listened To My Gut

Work was completely horrible last night.

Since I worked with L, I was on USCAN.  I think I would have gone even more crazy if I had been on register like I was scheduled.  Even though I worked with L, it was nothing like it usually is.  Everything happened all at once.  Why the hell does everyone decide to shop at the same time at 11:30p?!  Don't you guys sleep?!  Not only did we have a huge rush causing massive lines, but on USCAN, two of the three open decided to run out of bills and wouldn't give anyone change.  This means we had to go into our drawer and personally give out change to every single person that came through the USCAN that didn't go to the only one still full.  Not only did two of the three open run out of change, but the other one ran low in the coin dispenser.  Now, for those of you that don't know USCAN, when this happens a very annoying buzzing will go off until you fill the coin accepter.  Due to the massive rush we had we couldn't fill it right away, so the buzzing continued.  Finally the rush slowed down.

You didn't think that was all that happened last night did you?  We close at 1a, and till usually will go through around 12:15a for us.  If you don't know what till is, it basically is the start of the next day in the computer.  If I go to work on the 11th, all orders after till goes through are considered to be done on the 12th.  We can't shut anything down to leave until after till goes through.  Last night, five minutes to closing rolls around and till still hadn't gone through.  I called the help desk and he told me register 7 was the problem.  Now, take note, register 7 hasn't been used in nearly a week.  That is the register that would randomly shut off and restart itself.  That's the register I was on during the storm in one of my previous posts.  So, to fix the problem the guy on the other end of the phone had me transfer the call from the CSM desk to register 9.  Once I got on register 9 he walked me through some steps.  Long story short, there was a whole order on register 7 that I had to void!  How a whole order got on register 7 when it hasn't been used is beyond me.  I told him that the register's been broken and hadn't been run on in over three days.  As soon as I voided the order, till went through.  If that register hasn't been run on, then that means that order has been there awhile.  If that was the cause of till not going through, I want to know how till went through the night before without a problem.

Needless to say I left a nice long note to the opening CSM's.  It should be fun to see how tonight goes.  If it's anything like last night I may have to pull out all my hair and kill all the customers.  No, not really.  I work with M tonight, that means a lot of gossip.  It should be a lot of fun.  I love my job at times, it's just so pathetically comedic.  Some of the customers that come through our lines are just the most colorful people ever!  Because I am a closer, I see a lot of the same people.  You get know them after awhile.

I got Dennis a huge back of munchies.  It consisted of pistacio nuts, tootsie rolls, and smarties.  After work, I went to drop it off and he invited me to sleep over.  I absolutely love going to sleep next to him and waking up with him right there.  I gave him a long back massage last night.  He was in heaven.  I love seeing him happy, I'd do absolutely anything to make him as happy like that all the time.  We really do spoil eachother way too much.  But, I guess if spoiling eachother makes us happy, then why not do it, right?  I felt really bad.  When I woke up this morning, I couldn't get back to sleep.  I decided to go home and try to write a bit and hopefully fall back asleep.  Unfortunately, I had to wake him up to get out of his bed because I sleep on the inside near the wall.  I really do hate leaving like that.  He just makes me so happy that I'm not even sure what to do with myself!  I can't wait until he meets the rest of my friends and I can show him off to everyone I know.

I just found out that Dennis got a union job that pays $15/hr.  Basically, his dad has worked with this guy since he was in his 20's and he started the company about seven years ago.  Well, the guy stopped by while Dennis and his dad were doing a construction job to say hi.  Dennis was really busy and didn't really have the time to talk.  This guy saw how hard Dennis was working and decided to offer him the job!  See?  Hard work does pay off once in awhile.  But, this doesn't mean he's too busy for his computer business.  So, if anyone needs their computers fixed you should definately visit http://k0p.net/ to save a lot of time and a lot of money.  Plus, you'll really be helping him out!

I guess I should stop ranting and raving and possibly clean up the house a bit more.  I really am surprised at how well things are going, I'm completely happy.  I love life so much, and I'm so glad that Dennis is in my life.

I Really Don't Feel Like Working Now, Well, Maybe A Little Bit

I work with L tonight, so I guess it won't be too bad.

Dennis and I almost finished my room.  It was a huge pain.  We had to go to Walmart today and get another bucket of paint.  I have work tonight, so I'm thinking that I'm going to finish it tomorrow.  Maybe, we'll see how that goes. 

We also stopped by the music store to pick up the guitar.  I love it!  Tony was amazing, he gave me such great deals.  He restrung and tuned it for only $5, when it's usually $10.  He also gave me two amp cords for not even the price of one!  One amp cord is a little over $6, he gave me two for $5.  I just love this guy, he's so nice and genuine.  He definately knows how to run a business and keep customers coming back.  Absolutely a great guy.

I know I work with L, which is going to be so obnoxiously hilarious, but I really don't want to go to work now.  I want to stay home and play around with the guitar, I just love it so much!  Well, at least I'll be on USCAN.

Oh well, off to work I go.

Yesterday Kind Of Sucked

I guess it got a little better, but I'm not too sure about that.  This was my yesterday.

I feel like the shittiest girlfriend ever.  Dennis says I'm being too hard on myself, but I can't help it.  He gives me a guitar and I can't even remember to make homemade home fries.  I was so excited, but it completely slipped my mind cause so much happened this morning.  So, when he mentioned he was hungry, I immediately took a shower and finished cleaning the house.  I rushed out to pick Dennis up and I was going to cook them for him, but he had already eaten a grilled cheese sandwich.

I took the guitar he gave me to Tony at the music store.  He is going to restring it, tune it, and just making sure that it works right and everything.  I can't wait to get it back, I really am determined to learn this guitar so that I can play at least one song for Dennis.  I will make it so that he's glad he gave me the guitar.

After I dropped the guitar off to Tony, I stopped at work to get some ingredients to make some homemade ice cream cake.  I used crushed peanut butter oreos as a crust, then placed a layer of caramel over it.  Over that I placed a layer of vanilla ice cream.  To top it off, I used crushed Heath bars and another layer of caramel over top of it all.

I moved everything away from my one wall, but I'm honestly not sure that it's going to get done today.  I kind of want to do it, but I'm not sure we have everything right now.  We'll see how that goes.

I invited Dennis to sleep over, but I don't think he is going to.  Well, actually he just messaged me and said it sounded good.  I'll make him breakfast in bed.  Maybe today is getting better.

If you, or someone you know, needs help with a computer, please visit the site http://k0p.net/   It would really help out a lot.  He really needs the work, not to mention he's amazing at it.  He can fix your computer while your're sitting right in front of it, watching him do the work.  Spread the word!

Well, off to get Dennis.

Wow, I'm Actually Quite Surprised With Myself

I never expected to be doing this again.

Work was so hilariously fun.  I worked with L, once again unable to stop laughing.  Apparently, L, Dennis and I are all going to Denny's sometime together.  I was on USCAN, so work wasn't too bad.  Work was pretty usual for working with L.  We work together again Friday, we can't wait!

After work I stopped by to see Dennis for a little bit.  I hate being so self-conscious and embarrassed.  I really need to find a way to fix it.  Dennis invited me to spend the night again, but I declined.  Everytime I sleep over there, I always feel like I wake him up too much.  I hate waking him up, so I told him to get a good nights rest.  He said he was really hungry, but wouldn't let me make him food.  In the morning I'm making him some of my homemade home fries.  I think I should stop and get some fresh garlic, I hate using the diced stuff.

The more time I spend with Dennis, the more I love about him.  He actually got me writing again!  He doesn't know it, and I probably won't be able to show him, but it feels so amazing to put pen to paper and form something again.  My nails are bitten down, a sure sign I'm writing.  I'm not too sure why I do it.  I've been noticing more and more little habits of mine.  When I used to write, my nails would always be bitten down short.  I think it's just a habit I have when I get in a writing mood, kind of like how I bite my lip when I'm thinking.  It has been so long since I've written something.  I would post it, but I am still way too self-conscious to do so.  I would never show anyone my writings, they're just too personal, or something.

I should probably get some rest.  I need to be energized to make Dennis breakfast.  We also might go to a farm he is making a web design for.  That's if the lady e-mails him back first.  I'm just so amazingly happy right now, it's almost obnoxious!

Good night.

I Am Way Too Spoiled!

Dennis is spoiling me way too much!

Middleport was a lot of fun.  We had a fire, drank some beer, and just hung out for most of the night.  Dennis and I slept in the back of my car.  I laid down some blankets and put down my back seats.  To say the least, it wasn't the most comfortable.  But, we got through it.  The people that I was introduced to were so nice.  They were great people to meet and get to know.  I really am glad that Dennis invited me to meet all of his old friends.  We decided that we were going to spend a second night there, but we ultimately decided against it.  Instead, I was invited to sleep over with Dennis.

We went home and got showers, then I went to go hang out with Dennis.  We did a lot more together than I expected.  He was still on his computer, but I didn't even get a chance to read a whole chapter of my book, let alone a single page!  Because the lcd t.v. in the livingroom has broken, Dennis volunteered his bedroom t.v. for his parents.  It was very quiet without his t.v. in the room for background noise.  Everytime I spend the night with him, I'm reminded of how much I absolutely love him!  I never thought I'd ever feel this way.  I love cuddling with him.  I'm so happy when I'm with him.  I'm not completely sure how we got on the subject, but we started talking about art and my guitar came up in the conversation.

For those of you that don't know, my ex-boyfriend got a guitar for me for Christmas.  After I broke up with him we had decided that whatever we had gotten eachother for gifts would be kept by us, everything else went to the owner.  Well, to say the least, he became very obsessive and controlling.  I ended up being stalked by him and he took the guitar back.  I was self teaching myself, but that obviously ended due to the fact of not having a guitar anymore.

Dennis went and got his old guitar and started cleaning it, saying that it was my new guitar!  I can not accept that!  But, he refused letting me say that I can't accept it.  He used the guilt trip that if I didn't accept it he would be offended.  He spoils me so much!  He always gets up to get me a drink or something, he always insists on paying for everything, he's now giving me a guitar!  I am not a high maintenance girlfriend, I am very easy to please.  I'm not sure I even know how to react to all of this, I'm too used to pleasing, not being pleased.

I went home and got a shower.  After, Dennis and I took my laptop to Best Buy so that GeekSquad could replace the harddrive.  Dennis ran a lot of diagnostic tests and found that the harddrive is shot.  My laptop is under warranty.  So, that means that after they run their diagnostic tests, and they say the same, my harddrive will be replaced for free.  After Best Buy, Dennis and I went to John's Pizza And Subs.  He had never been there, and had never tried their amazing steak & ring sub.  To say the least, he loved it.

My new pre-order album William Control's "Noir" came in the mail today, and I am so excited!  I have been waiting so long for this.  I shall get back to you with my thoughts.

I am probably the happiest person in the world every time I think of Dennis.  I am making a promise to myself that I will learn guitar as best I can so that I can play him a song.  I just hope that I'm not too horrible and he hates it. 

Time to get ready for work,  I'll most definately finish my book tonight.

I'm So Excited!

Alright, basically I'm meeting everyone Dennis used to hang out with when he lived in Middleport.

Well, first off, Dennis tried to fix my computer.  He thinks the harddrives shot.  We're going to bring it with us so that his ex-business partner can look at it as well.  Dennis said he probably has a drive laying around that we can use to test it, and he's going to see what he still has in the old computer shop.  It's closed now, so there may not be much.

We're leaving for Middleport probably around 1p.  It's going to be so much fun.  Most likely we'll spend the night there and then come back tomorrow.  This means that there isn't going to be any new posts until then.  That's alright, I'm pretty much the only one reading all these at this point.  But, it's still fun, so I'll keep posting!

Until tomorrow, have a great day!

The Loved One by: Evelyn Waugh

Pg.64: "Bring your dark fears into the light of the common day of the common man, Mr. Barlow.  Realize that death is not a private tragedy of your own but the general lot of man.  As Hamlet so beautifully writes: 'Know that death is common; all that live must die.' "

Wow...Last Night Was Crazy!

I can't believe we stayed up until 6a. But, don't let me get too ahead of myself.

Yesterday, we went to eat to celebrate my sisters birthday. Every year, the birthday person picks a restaurant, and we eat there to celebrate. This year my sister chose Red Lobster. I asked if Dennis could come, and my sister agreed. The people that went were: my mom, my sister, my moms friend Dennis, my boyfriend Dennis, and me. Dennis and I met up with everyone at the restaurant, and everyone else drove in moms car. There was so much food! Dennis (my boyfriend) and I had the "Ultimate Feast", which included lobster, crab legs, two kinds of shrimp, and a side. Mom had a shrimp skewer thing, my sister had crab legs, and Dennis (moms friend) had steak. Because it was my sisters birthday she got apple crisp with ice cream, and they sang to her. Everyone had one bite and were too full, so Dennis (my boyfriend) ate the rest! After that, we left to go home.

Dennis and I stopped at my house to pick up some clothes and everything because he had invited me to spend the night after work. Everyone else stopped by my grandmas for a bit. After we grabbed everything, Dennis and I went back to his house and hung out for a bit until I had to go to work at 9p.

Work was alright, nothing too exciting to mention. My great friend Sarah stopped in and we talked the whole night. I actually felt bad for keeping her so late. She bought some Heinekin for Dennis and me while she we were talking.

After work, I brought Dennis the beer, and we hung out for a bit. He had said he was going to take a nap so that he could stay up after I got out of work. I found out that he had slept my whole shift. That's more than four hours! Ironically enough, he woke up five minutes before I walked through the door. Thank God he did, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get in because his dad locked the door again. He worked on some of his computer things and I read my book while laying in his bed. I know that sounds like a pretty boring night, but it was just so perfect. We each did our thing, while having eachother as company. We talked for a bit and cuddled, after awhile we realized that the sun was coming up! We ended up staying up until six in the morning! I had the coupons for Dunkin' Donuts in my purse, so we drove to Dunkin' Donuts while it was pouring out. It was raining so hard I couldn't see through my windshield at one point. I got a coolatta and a bagel, and Dennis got a small double double and a sausage and egg on a bagel sandwhich. After that, we went back to his house and went to sleep. I ended up having to go home. I hated waking him up, so I tried to crawl out of bed without waking him. He ended up waking up anyways.

I went home and after a few things passed out in my bed. I woke up and was so tired I ended up passing out on the couch instead. Mom made chivettas chicken, but since I can't have chicken, she made me fish. It was amazingly good. She also made baked potatoes, stuffed banana peppers, and corn. Her and my sister took Dennis (moms friend) home after we were done eating. I had to go to work at 8p.

Work was alright, I suppose. No, that is a lie. It was alright near the beginning, but the end was a disaster. I worked with L today. It was so funny, we both were having very violent thoughts near the end of our shifts. Everything was fine until the coupon machine ran out of ink on one of the USCAN's. When one of the coupon machines run out of ink, it beeps non stop. It is the most annoying beep ever! This printer beeped for probably at least an hour. I was trying to break down all the USCAN's and we started joking about throwing things and burning the damned machine. It was so hilarious just to imagine roasting a marsmallow over the burning printer and making s'mores. We finally finished everything and clocked out. It was so nice to get outside into the quiet. I get into my car and realize I forgot my phone. I had to run back into the store, listen to the beeping, and I couldn't find my phone. So, I called it. It was in the take-back cart. Dennis had invited me over after work, but was really tired, so I declined.

Dennis tried to work on my laptop, but thinks he has to take it apart. We'll see how it goes when we hang out tomorrow. I don't work, thank God, so we decided that we would just hang out tomorrow, since he was tired and I wanted him to get his rest. He has another computer repair job that's local, and another web design job. I really hope that his online business, http://k0p.net/ picks up a bit so that he has some more work.

After I came home, I went on Facebook, and my friend messaged me about his girl problems. I hate that he has to go through this, and I'll be there for him no matter what. I love that I can somewhat help him get through his problems. I see it from the girls perspective, and therefore help him see the otherside of things. I try to give my best advice, and what would work if it were me. I can only hope that she is somewhat like me, because I really wish him happiness. He's a great friend of mine, and I care deeply.

I think it is off to bed for me, I need my rest for tomorrow. I can't wait to hang out with Dennis. Until I write again, good night.

Just Another Boring Day In The Life Of Amy

Well, no, that's a lie. Today turned out to be not so boring after all.

It started off to a semi-bad morning, I woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep. So, I made coffee. And, ended up drinking two pots. I cleaned the whole house and even threw a load of towels into the washer. I had asked my sister to do two things: fold the towels and take care of the washcloth that I used to clean a spot on her new kitten.

My sister had noticed that there was a random, small bloody spot on her new kittens neck. It was just above the shoulder, on the left side, around her lower neck. It was probably about 2cm. big. To be honest, it looks like a patch of her hair was pulled out. It is perfectly smooth and looks like it only bled for a moment, or two. I'm not too sure what happened, but she seems to be fine. I don't think that my cat had anything to do with it because, amazingly, they have been a lot better lately. Keekee will go up to the kitten and sniff her out, their noses touching. And, she doesn't hiss as much anymore. We shall see how that goes.

I ended up going over to hang out with Dennis, and he said to bring my laptop. He started to look at it and see what he could do with it, but it needed some work. It turns out he has to fix it outside of Windows, because, let's face it, Vista sucks! So, he didn't get it done while I was there. He said he would look at it and see what he could do while I was at work. That's more than fine with me, he can take as long as he needs, or wants. Like I said, I don't mind at all, I just hope that he can possibly be done before I have to send in that collage. But, if he isn't, I can accept that. We went to Matty's to get something to eat. I got a slice of cheese pizza and Dennis got a "poor mans fish fry". We got our food to go, and took it to the pier to eat. It was so nice out today! After we were done eating, we went back to his house and hung out there for a bit, until I had to go to work at 7:30p.

Work was horrible! I was on register 7. Which, take note, has been having some issues for the past three days. It has been shutting down randomly on its own. I'm fine and I go onto my register and start reading the book that M is letting me borrow. It gets pretty busy, and of course this makes me slightly annoyed. It finally slows down again so I go back to reading, until the CSM comes over and tells me to put it away! I understand where he was coming from, but when someone tells me I can't read, I automatically become bitchy. To add to it, the register shuts down on its own. Of course, I was under the impression that I was on that register because it had been fixed. The previous days of it being broken no one has been placed on that register. I tell the CSM and he says that it was only the second time that it had happened today, so he thought it wouldn't do it again all night. Well, I'm sorry to inform you that it happened two mroe times. But, don't let me get too ahead of myself. He left as I was on my break and everything seemed to be going fine once the register turned back on from the first time. I took M off for her break and got a pretty good portion of my book done. I then break down one of my drawers until the last cashier leaves, forcing me to open my register. Everything seems fine for awhile, and then it happens again. The whole register just shuts down. Of course, I have someone in my line who is in the biggest rush ever and that just makes it worse. It comes back on and it's storming out. This just makes work even worse, I love storms. It gets storming so bad that the power goes out for a moment! Well, the power going out is just as bad as the register shutting down by itself because it still has to reboot. The register finally turns on and all of a sudden there is a rush at 12:30a! Go figure, in the middle of the rush, the register decides to shut down, again. I have a line that is at least four people long and I have to sit there like a dumbass waiting for it to reboot. Finally, it does and till goes through. This means that in the computer, everything purchased after that moment is considered purchased on the following day. Till usually goes through around 12:15a. This all threw me off so horribly, I felt so stressed and behind on time. I rushed to get all the coupons counted and luckily got done on time. Worst day ever.

To make things even worse, because it rained, the roads were soaked. I hate driving on wet roads so much! But, I make it home alright. Dennis had mentioned before I left for work that I should stop by after I got out. So, I texted him and he said I could spend the night, and that he was tired. I would have loved to spend the night so much, but my allergies have been so horrible. If I had any allergy meds on me, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. But, instead I'm here sitting on my couch, writing to you with my cat. How depressing. To top it all off, those towels and that washcloth? Yep, you guessed it, neither were taken care of like I had asked. This just pisses me off completely. Once again, like always, she does nothing that is asked of her, or that she says will get done. I think I've given up on her doing anything around here. Too bad I can't live in a mess, maybe things would get done then. I think I'm going to force myself to leave them until the morning, so that I can mention it casually, and show mom just how little my sister does around the house.

That was my day. Most of it normal, but somewhat not too boring for now. I think it was the storm that livened it up a bit. I think I may get something small to eat, but I doubt it, and then take my meds and go to bed.

Good night for now. <3

Work

Ugh, work was horrible!

I did end up taking Dennis to the bank, and I dropped off "It's Complicated" while we were in town. Still got charged for the late fee though. After we went to town, I dropped Dennis off back at his house so he could cut his neighbors grass and work on the guy from Cali.'s computer. His neighbors should be very appreciative, it was like a jungle! He didn't get around to fixing my laptop today, but that's alright. He was super busy! I really don't mind waiting, he can fix it when he has the time. The only thing that I am hoping for, is that it gets done in time to send in my collage. We will see. After I dropped Dennis off at home, I came home and my book, Flowers + Filth, was here. I took a quick nap after I read through it. I was so tired!

I ended up leaving for work super early. I'm not too sure why, but it worked out alright because I got gas before work. I dropped off The Street Lawyer in the mailbox for Dennis on my way there. That was such a great book. I honestly didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did. When I got to work it was really busy. Now, take note, I couldn't breathe at all due to allergies. Not fun. Luckily, I was able to just get all the easy jobs. I worked with L tonight, what a riot! We read Cosmo all night. I don't think that is L's reading style.

The more I look at L and Dennis, the more I see that they have so much in common. I really think that they would get along great if they were to hang out. That's so important to me, my boyfriend must be able to get along with my friends. And, Dennis gets along great with M, and he seemed to really get along well with my cousin as well. So, that makes me happy.

I finally got home, and it seems like my cat is finally settling down. She is no longer hiding behind the couch, and she is acting a lot like her old self. She's back to being a huge cuddlemonster! She is shedding like crazy, which is not helping my allergies at all.

My nightmares are finally starting to subside. I'm so exhausted, so I'm about to drug up on allergy meds and pass out until morning. Today went well, if you ignore the allergies. I am actually really happy right now, and I'm not sure if I know why just yet.

Good night, sleep well, and I hope pleasant nightmares for you all.

Last Night

Let me start at the beginning.

Yesterday started off horribly. My mom called and woke me up early, changing my plans completely. By doing so, she had me running very late. I would have been fine on time if I had just gone with my original plans, but they weren't good enough for her. So, I had to do it her way.

I ran up to her office to get the money that she forgot to leave me for my sisters birthday cake, then had to run to Best Buy. I was going to stop and get a nice coffee and bagel, but I couldn't even do that with the time frame that I had. In Best Buy, I couldn't find what my mom wanted me to get for my sister as a birthday present, so that took forever. Then, when I finally found what I was looking for, there was a long line to be cashed out. If there is a long line, and it is super busy, I think they should have more than one register open. After I finally got cashed out at Best Buy, by the most rude cashier ever, I dashed off to go all the way back towards home to pick up my sisters birthday cake. Now, if you haven't caught on yet, it was my sisters birthday yesterday. My sister is the biggest bitch when it is her birthday. So, even though the lady who made the cake said she could run it over to the restaurant, mom told her no and made me do it on a schedule that was near impossible. I finally got the cake over to the restaurant with no time to spare. In rushing to do all this, I forgot to return the DVD that I had rented, thus causing me to get charged for late fees. Awesome!

Finally, the party arrived. Dennis was planning on attending, but his sister worked late, and he couldn't. My mom got my sister a kitten for a present. Now if you know my sister at all, this was not a good idea. The party was a total drag. Not even our whole family showed up, so we're stuck in a room with all these family members, talking about the most insignificant topics. At least my cousin was there.

My cousin, Andrea, means the world to me, and is the one that actually understands why I feel the way I do about my family, and other things. She's the one I go to when I have a problem. Unfortunately, I haven't seen her all year, due to her being away at college. And, even more bad news, I will only be able to see her over the summer before she goes away to Kansas for two years! She is going to a college there for archeology. We decided that we had to hang out and do something after the party, since it's been so long. We went back to her place and she showed me all 600 pictures from her trip to Utah and Colorado. She was invited to go by her professor, to go on an archeological dig. They were able to go to a top secret naval base, only open to scientists! After we were done looking at the pictures we decided that, since Dennis couldn't come to the party, the three of us should do something so that the two of them could meet.

Dennis, of course, was tired because he spent the night at his sisters house the night before, so he got no sleep. This caused him to be slightly bitchy. We picked him up and went to Tops to pick up a book that M was letting me borrow. While there we decided that we would get a 12-pack of Bud Lite and go chill somewhere. Andrea bought the beer and we decided to go to Tusc. We just sat there probably from quarter to midnight until around two. It was so fun. We just sat talking and sipping beer while relaxing. By now Dennis had lightened up a bit. I got the official approval by my cousin.

Finally, my cousin decided she should get home. So, Dennis and I dropped her off at her place and Dennis ended up staying the night at my house. To be honest, I've never been so happy. We watched the movie "It's Complicated". I gave him a short back massage and we cuddled for a bit, I wanted him to never leave. After that, we went to sleep, only to wake up to mom screaming and my cat hating the new kitten.

My poor cat was hissing and growling at this new kitten all morning. She got so protective and possessive, as if she thought this kitten was going to take me away and replace her. I felt so bad. She wouldn't even come out from hiding for her favorite treats. That's when you know that something is really, really wrong. Mom went to work, sister went to school, and we just laid in bed relaxing. Until his phone went off.

A guy from California that Dennis fixed his computer for, would not leave him alone. On http://k0p.net it clearly states, when you pick a day and time that is best for you to have your computer fixed, that you must give Dennis 24 hours to process the request. This gives Dennis time to plan and schedule around the time and date at which you've chosen. This guy expected Dennis to fix his computer that day, during dinner time! He has no respect for time zones, us being three hours ahead of him. He was calling Dennis at one in the morning! And, he blew up both e-mail and phone expecting Dennis to just drop everything and do yet another thing on his computer. He was ignorant, rude, and impatient. People are so obnoxious!

I took Dennis home so he could fix this guys computer and came home to take a shower. After Dennis is done, I'm taking him to the bank to cash his check, and to the store to take that DVD back and pay the late fee. If he has time, I'm hoping that Dennis will try to fix my laptop after that. If not I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm going to try to pay him, even though he told me not to. If it were anyone else he would get paid, I should be no different. Therefore, I'm going to pay him.

We shall see.

About Me?

The reason why I posted those quotes from the book is because I am a hopeless romantic. Ever read The Great Gatsby? That's me, and unfortunately there is always a tragic ending, no matter how many times you read the book. How sad.

This being my first real blog I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Amy if you hadn't already gotten that from the user name, and I am currently 19 years old. I work at Tops grocery store, and it is not pleasant. Well, no, that's a lie. Some days, with certain people, are very tolerable and almost fun. The days with the other certain people are unbearable. I guess I should mention first that my status at this grocery store is cashier, but I am not a regular cashier. I close, therefore I am a closer. The hours are odd, but it works for me. I usually go in around either 7:30p or 9p and stay until 1a. I love working with the other closers, they are great people. L is always making me laugh, he has such a colorful personality. M and I always gossip, from the boys in our lives to family, and everything in between. P is a little difficult sometimes. She will be laughing and joking with you no problem, but when you ask her to do a task she suddenly has a slight attitude. I don't really think she notices it too much, but from the recieving end, it is very noticable. The closing CSM's are sometimes outrageous, and not in the good way. They like to act like they do so much work, and that their job is so hard. But, in reality, they don't do half their job anyways! Let's face reality people. Stop complaining and just do the work, it's not that hard.

My boyfriends name is Dennis. He's a great guy, very caring and sweet. Because he knew I love to read, he started giving me books! He's given me over three so far, and that's not including the ones that he just let me borrow to read. He says he's an asshole, but I don't see any of it in him. He's amazing with computers, and I know he'll go far in them. He has his own business already! For those of you that need a computer fixed, visit http://k0p.net. He fixes the computer right through the internet, that means no handing your computer over to someone and having to wait to get it back! Also, while he's fixing it, you can chat with him realtime so that you aren't left in the dark. He works construction with his dad, as well. His dad owns his own construction business, so obviously this family has the motivation to get somewhere. That's another thing I really like about him, he has initiative. He doesn't just sit on his ass and say "Yes, I want to achieve this by the time I grow old" and then do nothing to get there. He really is a great guy, and my cat loves him, so I guess that's saying something.

I have one black cat. She's very shy around strangers due to her bad past. She was in a bad home, then we took her in. She has gotten a lot better than when she first came to us, but she still runs to hide behind the couch when someone new walks through the door. She's always following me around, like a dog, begging for treats. And, as a result, she's getting kind of fat. Once she gets comfortable with the person she is a total cuddlemonster.

As I said earlier, I love to read. I constantly have a book, and when I don't, it's because I'm waiting for the next one. I'm hoping to one day have a room in my house declared as the library, with walls lined with books. I hate when people say they hate reading. There is a book out there for everyone, they are just too lazy to find it. Movies are also a favorite past time of mine. I have a very wide genre of books, movies, and music. I just like almost all kinds. I also love drawing and writing, though I haven't done either in a long while. Even though I don't believe myself to be completely horrible at either, I always have a problem showing people my work. I guess it's just too personal sometimes. Photography is another great form of art that I love dearly. I'm hoping to make it a minor in college, when I get the time of course.

Right now I am attending D'Youville College as a Bio Pre-Med major. Having bio as a major is very time consuming. Hopefully I'll eventually get some free time for photography, but if it doesn't happen I'm alright with it. I hope to one day become a forensic pathologist, also known as a medical examiner. These are the people who perform the autopsies on cadavers. Yes, it is kind of morbid. But, morbid suits me well. I've always been very intrigued by how the body works and completes so many processes in so little time. Just think about it for a moment, every time you take a breath your body is taking that air and separating the carbon dioxide and the oxygen and taking the oxygen to your lungs, while you exhale the carbon dioxide. And, every time you get hurt, it takes so many processes for you to feel pain, and realize it's pain. First, you have to get hurt. Then, the signal from the damaged area gets sent through a network of nerves all the way to your brain, where a different signal then gets sent back after being recognized as pain. Not to mention all the processes of the white blood cells moving in on a cut and everything. It's just so amazing how it all works.

The band Aiden is a huge part in my life. I have a tragic past, but that story is for another time, and they helped me get through it tremendously. They are great guys and will always have a place in my heart. I already have two Aiden tattoos and plan on getting more. I have the lead singer, William Francis, signature on my left inner wrist, and the quote "I know that every day's a new day and my dreams will never die" on my upper right forearm, under my inner elbow.

To be honest, I'm not too sure what else to write about me, so that is all. This is who I am and in the words of William Control, "I do not want you to like me."

The Dream Of The Broken Horses by: William Bayer

Her (pg.269-270): “Then, back in the rhythm of your life, you either miss the person or you don’t. Truth is I’ve never missed ‘the person’ very much, though I’ve almost always thought fondly of him if he happened to come to mind. But after just a few days in New York, I started missing you. That tells me something. And soon, when this stupid trial’s over and you go back to San Francisco, it’ll be your turn to discover how much you miss me…or not.”

Him (pg.369): “I know it’s early. Sorry I woke you, I tell her. To say I’ve been missing you is why I called. You said it yourself-that I wouldn’t know how much till I got back home. Well, this is my eighth day back, and now I think I know.”